Self-reflection is critical to growing ourselves and our leadership. The work of self-reflection strengthens and sharpens our values, capabilities, relationships, goals, and our ambitions. With good, strong, intentional self-reflection, you can identify areas in which you can grow, change, and succeed in your work and your overall life. Here’s the challenge. According to Tasha Eurich, an organizational behaviorist, in her research she found when she asked people if they believe they are self-aware, 85% said, “Yes, I am self-aware.” When she asked other people if those 85% believe they are self-aware, that number quickly drops to 15%. So apparently, most of us are delusional and we think we are a lot more self-aware than we are.
How do we get self-reflection right in a way that promotes self-awareness? What’s the secret? It is to focus forward. My three favorite self-reflection questions are:
- How do I want to experience me?
- How do I want others to experience me?
- How do I want others to experience themselves when they are around me?
If you focus on those three questions you can begin to set goals for yourself on how you really want to show up and how you want to be experienced. That is self-awareness.